So everyone point and laugh at my idiocracy!
I found a deal on ebay selling two cameras in one auction, one of which was a Canon Optura (wow, just what I was looking for and right around my price range!).  It was a buy-it-now or best-offer listing, so I sent the guy an offer that I thought was fair.  He accepted it.
Keep in mind that he listed the cameras as "100% working" and in "good" and "like-new condition" (the optura was the like-new).  He had good feedback, based in the US, and both cameras came with their own case, battery, and charger.
Now for the fun part.  The cameras came today.  He didn't do all that good of a job packing them (I could feel them moving about in the box), but at least he zipped them up in their cases.  The JVC powers up with a condensation error, and the Optura had a tape stuck inside it (yes, stuck inside- would not eject!).  None of this was shown in the pictures or listed in the auction (I went back and checked... sure enough I saw again "100% working" and "like-new").
Well, I was able, after about an hour and a half of fiddling with the Optura with my dad to eject the tape.  And with a little more fiddling I think I somehow fixed the tape deck so it pops out now (there was a lever to pop the tape deck out and swinging it back to position seems to have fixed it (but for how long?).  I'm still working on fixing the JVC.  I've located the condensation sensor, and now I need to get some Q-Tips or something to clean it off and hope that helps (worst case, I suppose I can try a disabling the sensor... I was only going to use it as a transfer deck to my computer anyway).
So everyone point and laugh at me being so stupid and trusting ebay (I know, I know, I got my vx2000 on ebay, but that guy actually proved he was a professional videographer in the listing and it was his back-up cam he almost never used).  I guess the moral of the story is be careful on ebay and don't just assume when the user said "Like-new" and "gently used" which clearly was not the case.  Tomorrow I'll send an email to this guy to see what's up.  One thing's for sure- since he clearly listed the cams wrong he won't be getting positive feedback.  Negative or neutral is still to be decided...
Anywho, just thought I'd share another horror story with you all.  Feel free to call me an idiot and share your own horror stories. :)